My Best Supermom Move is Teaching My Kid to Problem Solve

I have several mom friends who I jokingly refer to as "supermoms" because they ALWAYS go above and beyond. One of them every year blows me away with her Halloween costumes. The whole family will be in matching costumes like Curious George characters straight out of a movie, or a firefighter, truck and Dalmatian combo. And then I will say something like "I can't believe you made all those costumes!" and she will respond with, "I didn't, I found one of them a year ago, borrowed this one from a friend, and only made the third one"...to which, I will respond, "that is even MORE supermom because you didn't spend a ton of time and money on it, and you've been working on it a very long time!" She is convinced she's not actually supermom, but I think she probably is and just forgets to wear her cape.

Another friend has kids with food allergies and so we connect a lot about our shared challenges. She handles hers really wisely and I probably should ask her for advice more often. :) We were texting today about a food issue I ran into at my daughter's Halloween party, and in the middle of it I got an email from the school saying basically, "Don't forget, half day today, lunch will be served before they leave." I sprung into action! It's our first half day at this new school and I assumed they were not having lunch. Fortunately, I had a lunch packed in the car for when I picked her up, so I drove straight to the school to drop it off at the office. But when I got there, I found out lunch was over and I did not arrive on time. Instead of freaking out (though I could picture my daughter freaking out when she found out because she knows she absolutely can't share food or eat cafeteria food because her allergies are so severe and cross contamination has sent her to the hospital before), I simply said, "No problem, I bet she and her teacher problem solved through it." And then lifted up a prayer that they had, and that she had her problem-solving brain on and not her "I should freak out" brain on. (I do think those are real brains, by the way... More articulate therapists would refer to them as the reptilian complex, the paleomammalian complex, and the neomammalian complex.)

I got out to my car and saw an email come through on my phone from her teacher, "She told me she forgot her lunch today, so she used the backup lunch you sent earlier this year. :)" (Can I tell you how thankful I am for that smiley face full of grace, and for her teacher in the first place? Indescribably grateful. It has changed my daughter's life already.)

I had forgotten that I sent a backup lunch at the beginning of the school year! It is in the classroom for her to come get if something spills on her lunch in the cafeteria and she is worried about cross contamination. I LOVE that she and her teacher problem solved the situation and came up with such a winning solution! And I love that even though rushing to the school didn't work because I clearly didn't have my cape on to speed up and get there in time, I still got to have a supermom moment that I had set her up for success... both by packing the backup lunch and planning ahead for allergy issues, but more importantly, by teaching her to problem solve. I am going to let her down so much in her life no matter how hard I try, and unfortunately so are other people, but if she can learn to be resilient, perseverant, graceful and creative, I believe she can problem solve anything.