Honestly, I could use a little coaching here

I have heard husbands say that to their wives more times than I can count! And sometimes vice versa too. It seems that sometimes we assume the other parent knows exactly what needs to be done in a given situation, but they don't have a clue. And it's not for lack of wanting to know! It's that they simply don't know and no one is telling them!

I'm not talking about not knowing how to parent or discipline or teach or guide. Though we all could use a little coaching there (have I told you what a positive experience we had as young parents taking Active Parenting's online course?). 

I'm talking about simple, day to day tasks related to the kids or the house or the marriage or even the finances. If we don't know it needs to be done, it's very hard to get it done, even if we have an amazing servant heart.

I would say my husband has a particularly strong servant heart - there is nothing he wouldn't do for others. But he has been great at pointing out to me over the years that often I have unspoken expectations (especially because I can be more sensitive than he can - in a perceptive, observing sense of the word sense there) that I need to speak in order for him to be aware.

So we are working on that. I was feeling resentful that I was carrying more of the load around the house and with kid-tasks even though we both work. I think I've shared before that the book "The Couples Checkup" takes a great look at how to better divide up tasks, especially tasks that  go unnoticed. So we very practically are looking at our two most stressful times of day (getting ready for school and bedtime) and doing a task analysis. Simply listing everything we want to get done that time of day. The list has like 37 things on it! Holy smokes - no wonder we are so stressed out! 

It's allowing us to share with each other what is falling through the cracks though, or what one of us is singlehandedly carrying. And coach the other person on how to help us if they'd like. Such a game changer!