Day 15: Self-Control
On to another fruit of the Spirit...perhaps the one most of us find the hardest.
There are so many components to self-control -- from emotional control and regulation (which I think comes from healthy emotional expression, not stuffing, hiding or denying emotions) to changing problematic behaviors, to finding inner peace in a way that lets us act instead of react.
My daughter is really good at self-control. It's taken hard work on our part, but been an incredible journey, and a journey I've honestly so enjoyed because we've gone the route of being big on boundaries and also big on kindness, gentleness and the Golden Rule in how boundaries are taught.
I'm learning through this journey that I'm not, however, great at self-control. I appear to be, and would probably say I am in most situations, but when it comes to parenting, that's where I'm weakest at it. Parenting can push our buttons in ways we didn't know possible. I'm a person who spends a lot of times with adults, and the repetitiveness of parenting among other things can just wear me down. And then I start to struggle with self-control. I catch myself yelling when I thought I never would, or nagging, or controlling when those are the last things I'd want to do.
Paul talks about in the Bible those times we "do what we do not want to do." When I catch myself in those moments in parenting when I'm losing my cool, or turning into a drill sargent, or in whatever way straying from how I'd actually want to be in that situation, I'm going to start choosing self-control instead. That's not an easy choice to implement, so today I'm going to lean strongly on others to help me do it --- great books as resources for how, friends who can hold me accountable to the what, and tools like yoga, prayer and meditation to stay focused on the why.
There are so many components to self-control -- from emotional control and regulation (which I think comes from healthy emotional expression, not stuffing, hiding or denying emotions) to changing problematic behaviors, to finding inner peace in a way that lets us act instead of react.
My daughter is really good at self-control. It's taken hard work on our part, but been an incredible journey, and a journey I've honestly so enjoyed because we've gone the route of being big on boundaries and also big on kindness, gentleness and the Golden Rule in how boundaries are taught.
I'm learning through this journey that I'm not, however, great at self-control. I appear to be, and would probably say I am in most situations, but when it comes to parenting, that's where I'm weakest at it. Parenting can push our buttons in ways we didn't know possible. I'm a person who spends a lot of times with adults, and the repetitiveness of parenting among other things can just wear me down. And then I start to struggle with self-control. I catch myself yelling when I thought I never would, or nagging, or controlling when those are the last things I'd want to do.
Paul talks about in the Bible those times we "do what we do not want to do." When I catch myself in those moments in parenting when I'm losing my cool, or turning into a drill sargent, or in whatever way straying from how I'd actually want to be in that situation, I'm going to start choosing self-control instead. That's not an easy choice to implement, so today I'm going to lean strongly on others to help me do it --- great books as resources for how, friends who can hold me accountable to the what, and tools like yoga, prayer and meditation to stay focused on the why.
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