Please don't make a molehill out of my mountain
"She's going to be fine!" I told my friend who was worried about her
soon-to-be-kindergartener starting next week. "She did so great in
preschool, and isn't preschool success correlated with an easier
transition to elementary school? She's got this!"
Later that day, after I didn't hear anything back, I was reminded of
the year my daughter started kindergarten and I reached out to a
friend to share how worried I was that she would have a food allergy
reaction. "You have nothing to worry about!" said my well-meaning
friend. "Schools are so good at allergies these days, and this school
seems so confident!"
"The doctor said one of the most dangerous things could be if the
school is OVERconfident and think they have it covered when they
actually don't," I responded. I think my friend thought I was
completely overreacting, but I felt so dismissed by her words.
As I remembered this, I quickly sent a text apologizing to the friend with whom I'd just spoken. "I am so sorry. In trying to reassure you and ease your fears, I'm afraid I
came off as incredibly dismissive and acted like you were worrying for
no reason. I promise I will be a better listener if you want to talk."
She was graceful, and shared another layer of fear later that evening,
and I'm so glad that this time I didn't respond with, "you don't have
anything to worry about!" A day later I got a text from her that the
first day of kindergarten ended up being terrifying- when she waited
at the bus stop that afternoon, her daughter never got off.
It only took her ten minutes to get to the bottom of it and figure out
that they had put her child on the wrong bus and she was safe, but
"only" is definitely the wrong word there because those ten minutes
felt like an eternity. I can't imagine my five year old going missing
and there being ANY minutes that passed where no one knew where she'd
been taken.
I am learning to take the concerns of others more seriously, even if I don't fully understand why they are so concerned. Instead of dismissing their concerns, I'm learning to ask more questions, to listen better, and to grow in empathy by trying to put myself in their shoes. I am also learning to take myself less seriously...which is a journey, but an important one :)
soon-to-be-kindergartener starting next week. "She did so great in
preschool, and isn't preschool success correlated with an easier
transition to elementary school? She's got this!"
Later that day, after I didn't hear anything back, I was reminded of
the year my daughter started kindergarten and I reached out to a
friend to share how worried I was that she would have a food allergy
reaction. "You have nothing to worry about!" said my well-meaning
friend. "Schools are so good at allergies these days, and this school
seems so confident!"
"The doctor said one of the most dangerous things could be if the
school is OVERconfident and think they have it covered when they
actually don't," I responded. I think my friend thought I was
completely overreacting, but I felt so dismissed by her words.
As I remembered this, I quickly sent a text apologizing to the friend with whom I'd just spoken. "I am so sorry. In trying to reassure you and ease your fears, I'm afraid I
came off as incredibly dismissive and acted like you were worrying for
no reason. I promise I will be a better listener if you want to talk."
She was graceful, and shared another layer of fear later that evening,
and I'm so glad that this time I didn't respond with, "you don't have
anything to worry about!" A day later I got a text from her that the
first day of kindergarten ended up being terrifying- when she waited
at the bus stop that afternoon, her daughter never got off.
It only took her ten minutes to get to the bottom of it and figure out
that they had put her child on the wrong bus and she was safe, but
"only" is definitely the wrong word there because those ten minutes
felt like an eternity. I can't imagine my five year old going missing
and there being ANY minutes that passed where no one knew where she'd
been taken.
I am learning to take the concerns of others more seriously, even if I don't fully understand why they are so concerned. Instead of dismissing their concerns, I'm learning to ask more questions, to listen better, and to grow in empathy by trying to put myself in their shoes. I am also learning to take myself less seriously...which is a journey, but an important one :)
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