The 3 Hour Experiment

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A little over year ago, when I was reading the book "Hands Free Mama",
I decided to try a three hour experiment. I turned off my phone for
three hours at a time everyday when I was not at work, to be fully
present with my daughter. I was worried that by doing this, I would
miss out on a lot of needs that came in by text or email or social
media from work, friends or family. But I was wrong!

I started timing how long it took me after with my phone off to catch
up on what had come in. It took an average of 10 minutes or less to
catch up and respond. So all of those days previously where I felt
like I absolutely had to keep my phone on that whole time because
there were so many things I was needed for, that was actually not the
case at all. I don't know if it was my ego that made me feel like I
was more important and more needed than I was, or that I liked being
distracted, or the sense of immediate gratification I got from seeing
something coming in and responding right away, but none of it was
worth it. Those three hours with my daughter were priceless, and I
still try to continue that practice to this day because of it.

I think a lot of times I think I am busier and more in demand than I
am, and fall prey to this lie that if I'm not available every second
something will fall apart. It's simply not true, and it's unfair to my
kids! I'm modeling "distracted attention" to them and multitasking
them with something that can wait. I want to make eye contact with
them, to notice the subtleties of what they are saying and doing, and
to slow down enough to enjoy the moment and make memories rather than
try to cram things in from every angle. This is so much easier said
than done, and probably going to be a lifelong process as we live in
the age of technology, but I want to keep working on it, and not
settle for believing it just "is what it is." When my daughter dresses
up as "mommy," I don't want her carrying around a phone with her
fingers and eyes on it constantly. That's not who I want mommy to be
;)

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